Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
