Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
