you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
