Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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