you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My dick has a subreddit
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
