Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
