Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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