no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize