so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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