Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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