Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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