Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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