i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
