do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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