u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
