Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
