You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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