ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
