Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize