It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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