Dual....:-)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
