Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
