i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
