Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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