This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
