Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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