Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
