i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
