I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
