8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
