I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
