well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
