Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
