Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
