Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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