My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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