at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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