sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize