we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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