he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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