My room smells like vodka and shame
Betty ford says i'm here all night
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
