well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
