wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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