I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think my fart just growled at me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
