Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
