Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize