that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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