I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
