someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
soo... how was my night?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
