I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
