Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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