I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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