Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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