You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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