I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
