She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
