I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
