He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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