Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
